I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
