btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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