Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
