You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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