am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Someone shit on the floor
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize