Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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