Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
