Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
