I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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