Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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