I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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