broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You're like the curious george of whores
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
