wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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