Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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