let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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