Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
