Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
As shirtless as possible
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
