If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
