every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize