I hate all girls vehemently.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
