Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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