yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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