It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
