They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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