her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
