How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize