I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Even my vagina gasped.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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