i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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