Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
