That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
