I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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