I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
