he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
