I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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