Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
