Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I love you. Go after that dick
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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