absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
