He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
