The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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