2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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