they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
