DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
