I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
