we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he fucked my hip out of place.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize