But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
smell my finger.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
