rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
