hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I touched a dick in church today
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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