Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
