There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
