Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
