Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize