Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
