Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
