Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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