And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
