It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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