the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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