Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
