the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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