Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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